


You Should Really Lock Your Windows, Raymond.

by musiclivesinmealways



Series: Reddington/Ressler AUs [1]
Category: The Blacklist (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Breaking and Entering, Couches, Drunken Donald Ressler, Drunken Shenanigans, Everyone should have a pocket knife, Frat Boy Donald Ressler, Freshman Donald Ressler, M/M, Mentions of Dembe and Audrey, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, ROTC Buff Raymond Reddington, Raymond does, Raymond's too Tired for This Shit, Reddington being Reddington, Ressler crushing harder than a 12-year old girl, Senior Raymond Reddington, the nickname 'princess' comes up again if you read some of my other fics, while drunk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-27
Updated: 2016-02-01
Packaged: 2018-04-17 11:04:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4664196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musiclivesinmealways/pseuds/musiclivesinmealways
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a long day of grueling training, Raymond Reddington felt prepared to sleep in his clothes if it meant getting in bed quicker. Sarge had kept them working until after dark, and now Raymond could barely see the house keys in his hand. He yawned as he dumped his bag next to the shoe rack after getting inside. </p>
<p>Then something rather interesting happened.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Knight in Shinning Armor and His Princess

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aliceewalicee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aliceewalicee/gifts).



> Dedicated to my lovely beta and bestie Wheeljack who watched blacklist after my constant annoying and allows me to bounce ideas off of her for fics ^_^
> 
> Prompt: “wtf you’re not my roommate, how did you get in here? oh sHIT you’re really drunk aND NOW YOU’RE CRYING OKay okay it’s okay shhhh, you can stay here i guess??” au 
> 
> Ever since Anglo Garrick, Reddington/Ressler has held a special place in my heart. I was saddened by the lack of fics, so I decided to pay my dues to the ship, and thus "You Should Really Lock Your Windows, Raymond." was born.
> 
> I didn't like where I ended it, so I plan on continuing the story in the near future (but I doubt it'll turn into one of those 50-chapter fics that never seem to end).
> 
> Enjoy!

•••••

After a long day of grueling training, Raymond Reddington felt prepared to sleep in his clothes if it meant getting in bed quicker. Sarge had kept them working until after dark, and now Raymond could barely see the house keys in his hand. He yawned as he dumped his bag next to the shoe rack after getting inside. 

Then something rather interesting happened.

Dembe had left the prior week to visit family, so when Raymond heard a thud in the kitchen...

_It has been far too long a day for an intruder._ Raymond grumbled internally, retrieving his "pocket" knife from his bag. A graduation gift with purpose, thank god for ROTC buddies. It had come in handy on a few occasions when walking late at night near alleyways, and proved it's usefulness his freshman year. Raymond held it defensively at his side, poised to attack should the intruder have a weapon of his own. 

However, when he crept into the kitchen, the intruder did not have a weapon at all. He didn't even have shoes. Or a shirt. 

_The price of living next to a frat house barely makes up for the low rent._

But....Raymond couldn't deny that this intruder was attractive. He was also drunk. Very drunk. The blonde man stumbled toward his fridge, tripping on the loose ends of his sweatpants. Abandoning his knife on the floor, Raymond caught the younger man before he hit the tile. 

"Whoa there. Watch where you're going, I don't need blood on my floor."

The young man giggled. _Giggled_. "Does this make you my knigh' in shinin' armor?" He slurred. 

"Yeah, sure, princess. Let's get you back to your 'tower'." Raymond rolled his eyes and sighed, carefully lifting the 'princess' from the tile. 

"Noooooooo!" He shouted far too loud for after 10:00pm. "Don' ma'e me go back..."

"You can't stay on my kitchen floor, I have standards."

"B-but...but.." The blonde's lip wobbled and his eyes grew wet. 

_I'm too tired for this._

"Audrey broke up w-wif me and n-now she's kissin'...and I don' wan'..." He slurred and sniffled, tears beginning to stream down his cheeks. 

"Alright, alright." Raymond sighed, rubbing the younger man's back in an effort to comfort him. "I won't send you back tonight, but you can't stay on the kitchen floor, let's get you to the couch, ok?"

The blonde's head lolled downward, and Raymond assumed it was a nod of assent. "I'm not carrying you."

"Though' you was my knigh' in shinnin' armor...." He mumbled drowsily. 

Raymond huffed. "Alright, princess." 

"M'name's Don, but I like princess more." The blonde giggled as he was lifted bridal style. 

"I'll remember that should you ever drunkenly break into my house again."

"Are you mad?"

"I'm very tired, and I don't need anyone dying of alcohol poisoning in my kitchen."

"But are you angry at me?"

"I'm too exhausted to be angry."

"You should sleep then." Donald suggested sincerely, resting his head against Raymond's chest. 

"Once I get you comfortable on the couch, I will."

"Such a gentleman..." The blonde yawned as he was lowered onto the couch. 

_You might not think that when I call the cops on your buddies next door..._ Raymond thought to himself. "Just sleep, we'll get you sorted in the morning." He murmured, laying a blanket over Donald's drunken frame. 

"Hmm...M'kay..."

•••••


	2. That's What You Get for Waking up in Vegas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title from Katy Perry's "Waking Up In Vegas" ...appropriate situation, no?
> 
> I DID NOT EXPECT SO MUCH POSITIVE FEEDBACK *blushes madly*
> 
> Basically, after all of you said I should write more, I did. This is the product! ^_^ I’m nervous this will end up being a somewhat lengthy project, but it’ll be worth it. I already love this AU and I have big plans for it.
> 
> (Also it took so long because I was unmotivated to do anything, fun or not, for like two weeks, so the story got dropped for a bit, sorry ‘bout that.)
> 
> But yeah! There will be another chapter (I only have some of it planned at the moment, but hopefully I’ll start writing this week) so don’t worry about this story being abandoned.
> 
> So here’s to Reddington and Ressler, may they finally realize how gay they are for each other!
> 
> Enjoy! ^_^

•••••

_Ow._

Donald's first thought when he woke up. _Ow_.

Granted, he was on a couch, but it wasn't the most comfortable couch, he wasn't in the most comfortable position, and his arm was completely asleep (practically dead).

Oh, and he had the worst hangover of his entire life. 

So yeah, _ow_ was the best he could come up with. 

His eyelids felt like sandpaper-covered textbooks, and he immediately regretted opening them. 

_Ow._

Then he realized what he saw was not his frat house. And definitely was a very large, intimidating, slightly peeved, black man standing over him with a scowl and arms crossed over his chest. 

"Shit, bro, you sure know how to scare a guy...." _Wait, what the hell-_ "Where am I? Who are you?"

"Dembe, no need to scare the boy, that's my job." Reddington smiled, entering the living room from his bedroom. His voice rumbled deep in his chest and made Donald shudder (in either fear or arousal, he couldn't figure out which… _I’m too hungover for this_ ).

"Who are you? Where am I? How did I get here?"

"I am Raymond Reddington, this is Dembe Zuma, you're in our home, and you're here because you drunkenly broke in last night and refused to leave. I didn't really trust you to survive on your own anyway, so you slept on my couch last night."

"....shit." 

"You could say that again, dear boy. Dembe, could you grab some aspirin and water for our 'guest'? His hangover must be doing a number on him." Dembe nodded and headed into the kitchen as Raymond settled himself in an armchair with the newspaper.

Donald shifted uncomfortably on the couch, wrapping the blanket over his bare torso. “So are you…are you going to call the cops on me, sir?”

“No need to call me ‘sir’ Donald, Reddington or Red with suffice. ’Sir’ is only for those _closest_ to me.” Raymond chuckled darkly, continuing to read his newspaper. That voice was doing _terrible_ things to Donald, and it was not helping the pounding in his head. The throbbing just…traveled…

Donald wrapped the blanket tighter around his body. 

Dembe returned with a glass of water and two aspirins. Donald murmured a ’thank you’ as loud as his scratchy throat would allow. “So you won’t be calling the cops on me, Reddington?"

“No, I believe they have there hands full with your friends today.”

Donald’s eyes widened. Raymond looked over at the boy with a faint smirk playing at his features. “I don’t enjoy loud neighbors.” He practically growled. 

_How can a human growl like that? Why is it affecting me?_

“I suggest you get yourself cleaned up and head home, dear boy. If I do say so myself, you look like hell spat you out from its deepest pits.”

“Uh..thanks..” Donald replied cautiously. “Bathroom?”

“Down the hall on the left.” Dembe answered. Donald nearly jumped at the sound of the larger man’s voice; he hadn’t spoken since Donald woke up, and he was beginning to wonder is Dembe was mute.

“Thanks I’ll uh…I’ll be gone in ten minutes.” Donald stuttered, scurrying off to the bathroom.

_What the fuck just happened?_

•••••

“Raymond.”

Reddington Looked up from his newspaper, setting down his coffee. “Yes, Dembe?”

“Why did you not turn him into the police?” Dembe asked, confused. Raymond was not a caring man by nature, so unless Donald held some use to Raymond, there was no explanation as to why he would let a drunken frat boy sleep on his couch.

“His lady friend seems to be causing enough trouble in his life. I have no reason to add to that.” Raymond replied, returning to his paper.

“Since when have you cared about the feelings of anyone who broke something of yours? Our kitchen window is still in pieces on the tile.”

“Perhaps I’m growing soft in my old age, Dembe. Must we discuss this so early in the morning?”

“I have lived with you a long time, Raymond.” Dembe chuckled, walking back towards his bedroom. “I am not blind.”

Raymond shook his head returning to his paper. _I would never be with a boy from a any fraternity. I do have standards._

_Your standards have been lowered for less._ A quiet voice in his head reminded him

•••••

Donald rushed to clean himself in the guest bathroom. Something about ‘Reddington’ seemed dangerous.

Which did nothing to help his growing arousal.

_I’m never drinking again._

Making himself presentable to go back to the frat house was quick work (no one would notice if he looked like shit, everyone else would too). As Donald rinsed his face, he considered, for a fleeting moment, what consequences might present themselves should he leave his number with Raymond. Shaking the thought from his head as he dried his face, Donald ran his fingers through his hair with a sigh.

_I am **never** drinking again._

•••••

Just before Donald dashed from the guest bathroom and fled from the house, he scribbled a note on a piece of toilet paper.

_Raymond,_  
I apologize for my behavior last night, thank you for not kicking me out on the street.   
Please send me a bill for any damages (including your window). 

_Donald_

Scrawled under his name in rushed writing was a phone number.

_(…That doesn’t count...right?)_

•••••

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dembe knooooowwwssss…...Dembe always knows. ;D
> 
> Quick clarification: Donald is bi. Like, openly to friends. Donny is not having an identity crisis on his sexuality. 
> 
> Raymond is like...bi, but not openly? Like Dembe obviously knows, and Raymi has had a few flings and relationships here and there, but I figure that most of his ROTC and military buddies don’t approve so he doesn’t tell them. This will most likely come into play later in the story *hinthintwinkwink*
> 
> Also I realized after writing this chapter I may have to up the rating for later chapters….. _ **Joey voice: If you know what I mean…**_
> 
> Thank you for reading! Please leave comments/kudos if you enjoyed! They give me the warm fuzzies and spur me on to write more and I love them! ^_^ (I’m always a slut for kudos!)


	3. Look into Your Eyes and the Sky's the Limit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for Donald to pay Raymond back for the window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from Helpless from the Hamilton musical (american history, stunning costumes, amazing choreography, AND showtunes? what more could a girl want?) because Donald is crushing harder than a school girl.
> 
> Real quick, I want to apologize for how long this took! There have been some family and school issues that have taken away my time for writing, not to mention writers block. I hope this chapter makes up for it and keeps the pitchforks and torches at bay. 
> 
> Once again, thank you Jackie, my wonderful beta, and all the nice people who left kudos and comments, they warmed my heart! (Shout out to Sonora who writes some of the most amazing Resslington I've ever read)
> 
> Enjoy!

•••••

_Ring ring._

Donald turned towards his phone, continuing to brush his teeth as he walked over to the charging dock where it sat. 

_Unknown number_

Donald’s face contorted in confusion as his finger hover over the _Decline Call_ button.

"Hello?"

“Hello, Donald.”

"Raymond?"

"Yes, I believe you left your number for me on a piece of toilet paper?"

_Why did I do that, God, could I be more pathetic?_ "Y-yeah I-"

"I read your note, and I've had a friend repair the window. Now know how much it cost."

_Oh yeah, the note._ "Right, how much does it come out to?" Donald asked, rummaging around for his checkbook. 

"Money transactions should always be done in person when possible. If you're not busy, I can stop by to collect it tonight."

_No, he didn't sound seductive. Not at all._ "Yeah, sure, just studying, most of the house is at a Delta Zeta party tonight so you won't be bothered by any drunken fraternity brothers." He joked. 

Donald heard Raymond's deep chuckle on the other side of the line. "Good, because you were enough of a handful."

Donald laughed. "Sorry again about that."

"It's all water under the bridge now, dear boy."

_Dear boy..._ "Right, so, see you in ten?"

"I'll be over in two, I do live next door."

"Right," Donald chuckled. "See you then."

•••••

Raymond pulled on his over coat, his eyes searching for his keys. 

_It's just an innocent visit about money. That's all._

Locking the front door, Raymond smiled to himself. 

(You know, because locks did such a good job of preventing drunken frat boys from breaking into houses.)

•••••

Donald fumbled down the stairs of the frat house when he heard the doorbell ring. (Not that he had been waiting at the top of the stairs or anything). When he opened the door, he was met with the smile Raymond Reddington. 

"Hello Donald, mind if I come in?"

"Not at all." Donald smiled, heart beating against his ribs. "We can do this in my room, if that's ok with you?" 

_Oh god, does he think I'm hitting on him? Was that too weird? I should've just sent him a check, fuck this is so horrible he's going to think I'm a freak and-_

"Wherever is easiest for you, Donald."

_Haha, not now boner._

Donald led Raymond to his bedroom ( _what the fuck is happening_ ), thanking his lucky stars he had cleaned after the house's recent shenanigans (shaving cream, condoms, and nail polish. Don't ask, Ressler will never tell).

"How much does it add up to?" Donald asked, pulling his checkbook out of a desk drawer. 

"Actually, I have a suggestion for an alternate means of payment that benefits both parties." Raymond replied coolly, gracefully sinking into Donald's desk chair. 

Ressler's brain to a screeching halt, fumbling his checkbook (and failing to catch it). Stumbling to the ground, Donald attempted to retrieve his checkbook and jumpstart his brain. 

"Ah...I- uh.." He stuttered. "Look, you're really attractive and seem like a great guy-"

"Donald, I believe you mistook my words." Raymond responded, leaning forward and retrieving Donald's checkbook. "I wouldn't dream of forcing anyone into prostitution."

Donald's heart began to beat regularly once again. "Ok, good. I mean, you seem really nice and all-" He stopped, a confused look materializing over his features. "Wait, then what were you thinking?"

"I was hoping to take you to dinner. With you paying, of course."

_That's....not what I expected._

"Dinner?" Donald asked. 

"Yes, Donald, dinner." Raymond smiled. It must have been patronizing as far as smiles went, but was covered with a sizable hint of fondness. 

"As in like a date?"

"Only if you want it to be." Raymond replied fondly, returning the checkbook to Donald's desk. 

"I....I think your suggestion is acceptable.." Donald replied, trying to pick his words carefully. "And...I wouldn't mind if it was like a date."

Raymond's smile was fond, pleased with the boy's response. "Well then, are you busy tomorrow?"

Donald spared a glance at the calendar over his desk. "I have a class from three to five, but that's all."

"Then I'll pick you up at seven."

"Seven." Donald agreed. "Would you like me to walk you home?" He joked. 

Raymond laughed. _How can he sound suave when he laughs?_ "I think I can find my way, but you may walk me downstairs."

"Well if I 'may'." Donald laughed. 

•••••

As Raymond walked home, he mulled over his conversation with Donald. Mainly the fact that he was still dealing with the end of his most recent relationship, hoping to not bring Donald into his insane world of manipulation and deception, not to mention crazy ex-girlfriends and homophobic navy seals. 

Raymond sighed as he opened the door.

"You have already fallen for him, haven't you?"

Raymond ignored Dembe's question. "Goodnight, Dembe."

"Try not to mess this one up."

_Certainly endeavoring to._ Raymond thought (somewhat bitterly) as he prepared for bed. 

Blonde hair, blue eyes, and a sultry voice found themselves behind Raymond's eyelids as he drifted off, whispering sweet nothings of peaceful nights and pleasant dreams. It was enough to lull Raymond into a deep and dark void of sleep. 

(While Raymond slept, nightmares and screams filled the darkness of his mind. _Blue eyes lied._ )

•••••

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ....I'm sorry, please don't kill me. It was good up until the end, right?
> 
> I hope you enjoyed anyways! I'm always a slut for kudos and comments, they give me the warm fuzzies <3

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Leave a comment or kudos if you enjoyed this, it means a lot ^_^ my tumblr is:
> 
> musiclivesinmealways.tumblr.com
> 
> follow me if you want to mutually annoy each other about fics/ships/fandoms/etc.


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